Back on track!

I started Lupron again yesterday!  I am so excited to be starting this process (again!)  Last time I did not notice any side effects but this morning I woke up really nauseous and have a major headache.  I wonder if it's the Lupron or if I get to start this school year off with the flu?!
Did you feel any side effects of Lupron?

Tell me about your experiences and what worked to ease the side effects??

Still Enjoying Summer!

What is with all the back to school pictures already!?  My kids don't start school until the fourth of September! (Hence the lack of regular posts - we are outside!!!)  See you in a few days!
-Samantha

A(nother) June Birthday

Feeling a little stressed this morning.  Not really stressed, maybe a little bummed out is a better way to put it.  IF (Note, I did say "IF") this transfer works, then it will be a June baby.  There is already SO MUCH going on in June!  I feel like not only will this baby's birthday be less special, it will make the other ones more stressful and a matter of "just making it through to the next one."

Here is the June rundown in my house:
June 4th - Fifeaversary
June 13 - Nephew
June 15- Good friend's birthday
June 14 or -17 sometime - Father's Day
June 17- Husband's Birthday
June 17 - Bestie's Birthday
June 19 - Grandma Birthday
June 24 - Sister's birthday
June 30th - Inlaws Anniversary

Anyway, I know it sounds selfish but as I was laying in bed this morning daydreaming about what it would be like to cram another sweet baby into our king sized bed, these kinds of thoughts occur to me.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to even attempt to have another baby - I really am!  I hope and pray EACH MINUTE that this transfer works!  I would be happy with any birthday, but in a perfect - fertile- world, I would plan the birthday's just a little bit differently......


PS - comment if you are reading this please!  Anything you would like to know or think I should address on here?

Ugg... Road Block

I had an appointment last Friday with my RE to make a plan and get things started with my FET.  I was really excited and he had already had me on Lupron shots for the five days before my appointment so things were already moving along.  I got a babysitter and drove the two hours to my dr, and sang my little heart out to the music I liked on the way - remember, I had no kids with me!  You guys, I was so excited to be moving along with this!

But.  See, in infertility land, there always seems to be a "but."  My "but" was this:  I don't have any FDA testing done on the donors of my embryos.  I don't need it!  I know them and know what their personal standards WERE and ARE at the time of creation, before that and even now!  So last time I used them, I signed a paper that said I was willing to "risk it" and all was great.  Last year, a lady from the FDA came in to audit files and mine got flagged BUT I DID'T know that so when I got there on Friday my dr said he still hadn't heard from her to see if I had to do the tests this time or not.  So he took me off the medicine and now we are waiting until the end of this month..... Deflated does not describe it!  I am so antsy and you may come to realize if you stick with me that I am the worlds most impatient person ever.  Seriously, EVER.

My donors are looking into getting some speedy tests done, and my Dr is working on getting permission to move forward without the tests so whatever happens first I guess.  My next appointment is Sep 5, and that seems like so far away!  I know, it sounds spoiled of me but I was already a week into the medicine.

So not how to give yourself a shot tutorials this week, as I am not on any shots, but they will come.  In the meantime, I have two girls pregnant from matches they made on my website, blessedwithinfertility.com, and another girl going in for a transfer in two weeks!  So many things to be grateful for today!

xoxo
Samantha

Here we go again!!!

Welcome!!  I have done so many matches in the last year and seeing these sweet families grown and the babies born has been simply amazing!  I am so, so grateful to have been a part of this incredible part of so many families lives.  Because of this, and because I already have on complete, successful embryo transfer under my belt AND THREE KIDS, why do I feel so nervous??

Because I am going to try again.  Am I crazy?  A little.  How many times can one girl be blessedwithinfertility?   I feel like I am tempting fate here or something.  Things are going so well, and my two year old "baby" is just now moving out of the baby phase, I mean, she JUST stopped nursing!  Like, last week!  She is still waking up at least once a night, I may never sleep again if I get pregnant this time!  

Husband isn't too sure our family needs to grow, but feels the same as I do:  It's time to attempt to give life to these remaining embryos.  No matter the outcome, we love our family, and our life and we both agree that we are already so blessed in the world of adoption and infertility!

Do you think it would be helpful to include a few "how to" videos on here?  For example, how to give your self a shot of Lupron or even a few different methods of giving yourself a shot in the bum?  I am going to try a video diary this time - ask some questions and I will try to answer them!!

Thanks for going on this journey with me!

~Samantha

How to tell people you've adopted some embryos

Embryo adoption can be difficult to explain to people!  Here is an excerpt from our family journal, explaining our choice to our friends and family.  I hope this helps some of you!

-Samantha

Just like each person and family is unique, adoption can look different in each family. For example.....

Some adoptive families look just like ours and its hard for some people to understand that we are in fact an adoptive family!!

Even harder to understand, some adoptions can look nearly unrecognizable to the untrained eye....need an example of that too? -Don't worry, I've got one :)

Curious what this means? It means our family is expecting a baby on July 28th! This time though, we have adopted embryos, rather than an already born baby, so its me that is pregnant. Crazy right?! There are so many reasons we chose to do it this way this time, experiencing pregnancy is simply just one of them. Other reasons are not going through failed adoption after failed adoption, controlling the prenatal environment (however, we were thrilled with our other two kids' prenatal environments..) and the main one is that once you have one healthy child in adoption land - its really hard to add more for some reason. 

I have struggled a little bit in deciding to do this. There are a few things that I really didn't/don't want to happen in this situation.

-I don't want people to be happy for me that I "Finally," get to experience pregnancy. I haven't been pining for that - I was pining to be a mom, and I have been one for about five years now. I am grateful to be pregnant, but mostly to be adding another person to our family. I have had a great pregnancy and it's been fun to be able to experience it, but it's not a bucket list item by itself. The new member of our family is the bucket list item :)

-I really don't want people to say, "I knew once you adopted you would have kids of your own!" Hello? Michaela and Heidi ARE mine. And this child is as genetically linked to me as my first two are - THEY AREN'T. Because of the power of the Temple though, they are mine, here on earth and forEVER.

-I really don't want my girls to think that I really wanted to be pregnant and I feel like I missed something with them. Truthfully? I can't imagine my life without my two little princess...AND their birthmom's/families/stories. They are such good girls and I love how they came into my life. This third child will be able to be breastfed and that is exciting to me, but not something I wished I could have done with my other two. I could have taken hormones and attempted to breastfeed them, but I didn't want to pretend they were biological, I wanted the world to know I am so proud of where they came from. Anyway, not to rant, I really just want people (you) to understand that a pregnancy is as much for me as it is for my current kids :)

SO. Be happy for us - WE ARE SO EXCITED! But don't be relieved for us, because we are so happy with how all our kids came here - all three of them! (Yikes...THREE KIDS!!)

This adoption is also open, we know the genetic family and love them very much. We are SO BLESSED in adoption to be able to have two healthy children with wonderful birth families, and another baby on the way with an equally wonderful genetic family. We are so happy to share our news with you and hope you share our joy with us! We truly feel blessed.

Decide to be blessed this Mother's Day!

5-11-13
Mother's Day.  A day of rejoicing, embracing and celebrating motherhood.  It can also be a day of tears, longing and  empty, aching arms.  I remember that feeling well.  It leaves a hollow, jealous space in your hear that yearns to be filled with a child.  What can we do to suppress the nagging feeling that something - someone- is missing?  My advice is to take charge of your journey!  Do one thing every day that brings you closer to being a parent!  You may not be growing a person, or rocking your baby to sleep, but you can be filling out paper work or doing fund raisers to bring your child home!  Isn't there a saying that has been floating around lately, "look for the good,?"  well, Mr Rodger's may have meant it for time of disaster, but I am saying it NOW.  Look for something good about this Mother's Day.  Nurture your relationship, develop a talent or lighten someone's burden, perhaps it's heavier than your own.  Fill the space in your heart with memories and people, each moment spent for good will make you a better parent when the time comes.  This Mother's Day, you CAN be a mother, even if it is to the child you have yet to meet.  Do it by being the kind of person today that they will be proud to learn about later.  I wish you all a happy day today, and many messy, laughter filled, busy Mother's Day's to come! 

Fox 12 News KPTV

Our local news station here in Portland did a story on our family, and embryo adoption.  Here is the link!  How do you think I did?  It was really edited and some of the deeper, thought provoking questions were cut short, but I think it gave people a warm, fuzzy feeling.  And my kids sure looked cute on tv!!
http://www.kptv.com/story/22184521/fox12-investigators-local-woman-gave-birth-to-baby-she-adopted

It's National Infertility Awareness Week!

4-24-13


Did you know that it's National Infertility Awareness Week?  What is it you ask?  Don't worry - I didn't know at first either!  Sometimes it's abbreviated as NIAW, and is a project of RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. The main purpose of the week is to raise awareness about infertility, to help couples experiencing it cope, most importantly to learn to live and THRIVE despite their infertility.  It's a week where people are encouraged to let their friends and loved ones know of their conditions, seek support and not feel ashamed about their infertility diagnosis.

National Infertility Awareness Week is this week - April 21-27th and is usually held the last week of April, right before Mother's Day is celebrated.

Why does the world need such a week?  Education is the best way to advocate for yourself!  When you first told your families you were considering adoption to build your family, didn't they ask questions?  One person in my family immediately asked, "Whose fault is it?!"  We also got a lot of, "Well just quit trying, once you quit trying you will just get pregnant," or "Maybe it's your diet!"  See why we need a week to educate all those fertile people?!  It's most often not about stress, diets, or relaxation - it's about low sperm counts, no sperm counts and uninhabitable uteruses!!  There is also the benefit of educating lawmakers.  Did you know that most insurances do not cover fertility treatments? (Of course you do - you are nodding your head right now aren't you?!)  Insurance companies believe that it would be more expensive to cover things like IVF when in reality, it would be cheaper - if insurance covered the ivf treatment, there would be less pressure to implant more than one embryo, resulting in less chance of multiples, and multiples equal higher medical costs.

Then there is the issue of adoption lingo.  I could write an entire book about this!! (Wait, I actually AM writing an entire book about this!  Watch for it.....) Tell me you have heard this one, "How much do you have to pay for your baby?"  Or the ever so blunt, "Don't you wish you could have your own kids?" and I like this one the best, "I just don't know if I could love someone else's baby."  You don't say this to someone who is CURRENTLY IN THE ADOPTION PROCESS!!

With infertility affecting 1 in 8 people, it is very likely that everyone knows someone who has been or will be affected by infertility.  So get out there and educate!  Raise awareness to the reality that is now your life!  Happy National Infertility Awareness Week